Title - The red logo character is aliased horribly.
I'll make a better version for the next episode.
1st frame - Aliasing all over the place. See the sidewalk behind the scientist, main characters arm etc...
What is going on? Why is he in the garrysworld map? The walls at near and far distance look completely daft, especially with what seems to be low detail graphics.
Again, I'll do better in the next ep.
The scientist looks like he's in a default GM pose and it's hard to tell what the thing on his crotch IS. The scientists dialogue... You're just jumping into something unknown with it. On the technical side the t13m had me stumped because you read it as TL3M. The font doesn't distinguish '1' from 'l'.
The narrative boxes don't really fit the font too well, neither does the gradient blue.
If you know the basics about GMod, a Kleiner talking 1337 or n00bish or whatever with something stuck in his crotch is ALWAYS a MingeBag (aka GMod n00b). Also, that's not an "l", it's an "I"
And how would you suggest I make the narrative boxes then?
2nd frame - This is the best frame, you've place the main character pretty well with his head tilting so we can see his face. It's hard to tell the dimensions and direction of the 'vortex. Main character again aliases like mad against the green and the low quality of the green lightning texture is clearly visible.
The aliasing will be fixed as mentioned before. Glad you like the posing.
3rd frame - WHY? WHAT? It doesn't make sense. It's just a distorted face with a quake 2 style explosion behind it in some low detail hallway...
When the Runaway hit the vortex, the vortex and the machine generating it exploded. It might've been a bit more obvious if you knew the gm_construct map well. Also, the face is the Minge, who flew away from the explosion, and is speaking his weird n00bish gibberish wossname.
The narrative is interesting, but it doesn't quite go with the images much. They don't really link well.
Any suggestions on how to better my narrating, then?