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From the Book of the Ancients, page 1904:
Urdmuk "Crazy" Aestetail, the Trickster Ancient awakes from his slumber to see through
the fortress of Nilthalal, the Hammerempire. As the great spirit wakes, he decides to take a frightening form, one of horror and pain to scare whoever ran this establishment into submission. In fact, he decided to take this form long ago, as it has always been his style. But alas, as he wakes, he takes a look around trough the eyes of the statue before he even seeks to gain a physical form. A party is what he sees.
A PARTY?! Such blasphemy amongst the dwarves?! We are a working race! One of pride and honor! We have not time nor need for such petty dealings as a parties.
I conj-- er, i mean, Urdmuk conjures the most horrible image imaginable, a non-euclidean monstrosity that would make a person insane just by looking at it. The party-goers flee due to the trickster's magnificent wizardry.
From the Mayor's diary, entry 124:
Another of the Ancients came forth from the statue. This one is a real freaking moron.
There was a party going on in the statue room, which i attended as well. He assumed some sort of odd form which really looked unintentionally funny, but as he pestered us endlessly, the party-goers became rather annoyed and left. I guess it was my task to talk to him at that point.
He looked rather smug about driving away the party, the sod. Talked some nonsense about dwarven heritage or other. He constantly talkes about himself in third person and refers to everything he does as "magnificent" and "great".
This is going to be a long Autumn. I brought him a map of the fortress as it was. Loudly, he exclaimed that the living rooms being prepared were far too large.
"We're dwarves, we should be sleeping in the mud with dogs and chewing on soggy mushrooms!" he said, waving his fist around and trying to make his voice sound deeper than it is.
Oh, dear. I fear for the future of our fortress.
He didn't cancel our order to smooth out the bedrooms, but he did essentially stop their construction, as there were no beds.
He also complained about th way our workshops were placed and therily cursed whoever had decided that our main corridor should be one tile wide.
He did give me a proper office for me to work out of, though. I still fear the orders he will give tomorrow.
From the Mayor's diary, entry 125:
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE 32 IDLERS?!"
Urdmuk was absolutely shocked. This wasn't his normal, megalomanical self. He was genuinely horrified and out of balance.
I have to say that though i hate this Ancient with every hair of my chin, he does have a point. The fortress COULD be run more efficiently.
He started scrambling orders like the madman he is, trying to find work for the dwarves. He was able to rapidly lower the amount of idlers, but after an entire day of finding work, we were still nowhere near done. We'll continue tomorrow.
From the Mayor's diary, entry 127:
Not much happened. Still trying to find work. I've discovered that Urdmuk actually knows a thing or two about running a fortress, though if he had a tenth of the skill he thinks he has, we'd be up to our necks in booze and riches.
He decided that the 3-tile wide upper floor would make a much better main corridor and as such we should plan future developments so that traffic would be focused on that area.
Urdmuk told me to see what i can do to improve the traffic problems. I have a few ideas.
From the Book of the Ancients, page 1944:
The great Urdmuk has done magnificent work on improving the well-being of the fortress in just a few short days.
He has gracefully and heroically saved two miners that were trapped under the farms.
He has brought the fortress to peak efficiency, with no idlers remaining.
He has created a brilliant new system to lower traffic on the lower level.
He has begun creating an effective defensive army.
He has begun work on a tunnel to more efficiantly dump refuse.
He is truly a wonderful and gracious Ancient.
From the Mayor's diary, entry 128:
What a bastard, that Urdmuk. Here's how we work:
1:He tells me of a problem.
2:I figure out what is causing the problem.
3:I speak to the dwarves and see what they think of the problem.
4:I draw plans to solve the problem.
5:I introduce the plans to the dwarves.
6:I oversee the work, making sure that everything is according to plan.
7:I make sure that evrything will work smoothly once the plans have been brought to action.
8:He claims he did everything.
Urgh. At least we have some soldiers now, we were completely defenseless before.
From the Mayor's diary, entry 129:
SIEGE! WE ARE UNDER SIEGE!
I've told everyone to get inside and for the soldiers to guard the entryway. We have but a single axedwarf, the rest are recruits. Luckily we have a wonderful choke point, which we shall utilize. The goblins are just outside the door now, waiting. We keep the door open, we are not afraid of them. We should be able to make short work of them by utilizing our choke point.
However, one of our own was caught outside the walls but managed to escape to the hills. The elf in the trade depot, however, was less fortunate.
From the Mayor's diary, entry 130:
THAT BASTARD. THAT MORONIC IDIOT.
At dawn, Urdmuk told out men to storm the goblins just outside of our doors. The fool, the idiot. I wish i could strangle him.
Many great soldiers lost their lives needlessly in that situation. They will be given a proper burial.
From the Mayor's diary, entry 147:
I've been silent again for quite a while, but there really isn't muh to say. The fortress is working well. We could use a few extra hands, but we're not quite desperate for them. The corpses of the goblins still rot outside. Urdmuk still won't allow us to clean the battlefield. The moron.
From the Mayor's diary, entry 164:
Oh, merciful Armok.
What have we done?
How has this come upon us?
Have we done something as to deserve such a fate?
There's no. No. Alcohol.
Why is the rum gone?
From the Mayor's diary, entry 221:
Finally, it's Winter again, Urdmuk is leaving. Ugh. I hate that megalomaniac. I hate him for his ego. And i hate the fact that he can actually run a fortress. Because that means his orders are not ridiculous enough to be overridden.
Well. In this season:
-Goblin siege, lost all but a few soldiers.
-Ran out of alcohol, problem was rectified.
-Messed around with the borked up storage space designations, there should be no more
miasma from the bone & shell storages and rotting items are more easy to move.
-Lowered main corridor traffic.
-Started frantically making bins because we were utilizing ridiculous amounts of
-Made a clothier's shop & loom.
-Made craftsdwarve's shops to work down the ridiculous amount of bone & shell we have.
-Trained an army capable of holding it's own against a siege as big as the last one.
-Eventually mined out a tiny bit of ore.
Notes for winter:
-Too many dwarves are hauling, the general efficiency of the fort can still be
-The Noble's demands are not met.
I don't know what else. I'm tired. I'm going to sleep now.
God, i hope the next Ancient is sensible.